Kingdoms of Kalamar

The Hands of the Slaver God
The Hands of the Slaver God

boar.jpg

The Party


Abadon, the Mage
Asher Tradefolk
Arianthana Dawnchaser
Bruno Trickfoot
Korra Lander
Piero Malatesta

Background

Deciding on heading towards Baneta, the party lashed three wagons together as a makeshift boat.

The Story

View
The Giants of Banader River

barge.jpg

The Party


Abadon, the Mage
Asher Tradefolk
Arianthana Dawnchaser
Bruno Trickfoot
Korra Lander
Piero Malatesta

Background

Deciding on heading towards Baneta, the party lashed three wagons together as a makeshift boat.

The Story

The group guided their makeshift raft to a standstill obstructed by a log held in place in the middle of the river. To their great surprise, the log began to speak of their destiny and an impending difficulty.

Immediately, a dozen orc fighters launched themselves on rams to pin the wagons on the river. Abadon noticed that the orcs were branded, which lead to the discovery that they were slaves from a faraway land. With this discovery, Korra attempted to halt the hostilities in order to free them. The efforts proved to little avail as the orcs were quickly dispatched by the group. Suddenly, several hurtling forms blotted out the sun.

It was the bogeyman of Korra’s childhood, that which had inflicted many forms of scars towards her father, an Ettin and all two tons were hurtling through the air at them. As the Ettin collided with the makeshift raft, it began to split apart, and two ogres plunged into the water pursuing the derelict raft.

The Ettin began by flaying those in his immediate reach while Korra and Bruno began to stab at the giant. Asher forced the Ettin to attack the ropes holding the raft still. As the raft split into three, Piero found himself the sole combatant against the Ettin. The ogres went and pursued the two other rafts as one was handily slain by Korra. Bruno and Abadon found themselves in some difficulty facing the other ogre alone so they flew away together. Asher enlarged a enwolfed Piero who began engaging the Ettin. Eventually the 3 giants were slain allowing the group to relash the barges together.

View
The Sunless Altar

Altar.jpg
Abadon, the Mage
Asher Tradefolk
Arianthana Dawnchaser
Bruno Trickfoot
Korra Lander
Piero Malatesta

The Story

The party reached the promontory above the vampiric tree. A length of vampiric brambles separated the party from the altar. They began to attempt to sneak, however Korra loudly gave away their position by running into a bramble. Quickly the mages began to run up towards the altar.

Korra rushed towards the altar, ducking the vampiric brambles. Piero was a mere step to her side, once again ablaze. As Korra came within javelin distance of Belak, Abaddon curled his fingers and his eyes blinked quickly.

Mela was frozen in fright, hunger and thirst. The skulls of the infernal altar were whispering in anticipation. “Ripe apples for the tree,” “Young dreams to bind,” “Cleft for thee, hide in me.” The walls were wrong… the walls were wrong… She shut her eyes, the ground suddenly shifted, and the whispering stopped.

Korra ground to a halt as she drew sight of Piero on the altar. Korra quickly turned only to see Mela, a haunted shadow of the child she was. The red moons light bathed the altar in its light, speckling the surroundings as it filtered through the corrupt tree. Piero unbridled his anger and bellowed his blood thirst. The howl echoed and resonated in the cavernous chamber creating a deafening clamor. Korra wheeled back towards the altar, something was far amiss. As Piero leapt onto Belak, that which Korra had feared had arisen; Piero had given himself in towards the beast and had only thoughts of ripping its meal.

Fiends were closing in on Korra, her heart racing, she grabbed Mela and ran for the gate.

View
This Werewolf is on Fire!

wingeddemonslain.jpg
Participants:

Abadon, the Mage
Asher Tradefolk
Arianthana Dawnchaser
Bruno Trickfoot
Korra Lander
Piero Malatesta

The Story

The party all climbed on Piero, who leapt down the shaft, warshouting. Prior to hitting the ground, Abadon cast Feather Fall on Piero, to slow their descent. The party formed up and bravely charged towards Belak, the Outcast.

They encountered fungus with vine-like tentacles that took accosted Arianthana who was momentarily entangled, but the wizard and sorcerer beat them back. The Paladin reminded the group of the need to save the little girl and to stop the summoning of a demon. After a few minutes, the group encountered an encampment. They had the halfling, Bruno, stand on Piero’s shoulder to look over the wall. The halfling saw a horde of goblins with a few bugbear superiors. Thinking quickly, the group decided that the most effective plan would be to light the werewolf on fire and set him loose on the combatants.
Arianthana and Korra quickly followed Piero in as he broke down the door while on fire. The two armored women began by engaging the bugbear captain. Asher let loose a magically precise shot, hitting the horned helmet of the bugbear captain and stunning him. Abadon and Bruno rained down alchemist fires on the group of bugbears, while Piero fought the frost wolf.

fire_and_ice_wolf.jpg

Korra and Arianthana slayed the Bugbear Captain and went to the aid of Piero, who was surrounded by the other bugbears. Calcyrix swooped down and unleashed a wave of fire upon the field mortally wounding the bugbears and causing Korra to faint from the injuries. Arianthana quickly healed the group as they fled the explosion caused by the alchemical ingredients catching fire.

View
It all Falls Down

underdark2.JPG
Participants:

Abadon, the Mage
Asher Tradefolk
Arianthana Dawnchaser
Bruno Trickfoot
Korra Lander
Piero Malatesta

Backstory:

Our intrepid adventurers have ventured into the Sunless Citadell in pursuit of the village girl Mela. They quickly encounter a tribe of Kobolds, who effectively stall their pursuit. After some misunderstandings, our heroes manage to convince the tribe that they will lead the kobolds against the goblins. And here’s how:

Pierro, that dastardly hansom bundle of fury and machismo, decided to show off just exactly how manly he is to the kobolds.

ZabuzaWithSpears.jpg

By impressing the kobolds with his immunity to goblin weapons, and with some quick words from a disguised Bruno Trickfoot, Pierro convinces the kobolds that he and Korra are friendly and want to help. And with more adventurers popping out of the wood work by the second, the kobolds decide to let these crazy scaleless to lead the charge into the goblin stronghold. With this, the kobolds reveal their plan for the assault: Drop the walls and charge head-long.

brick-wall-crumble.jpg

The wall leaves a gap between the kobolds and goblins, which the party jumps and then engages the evil forces. Beset with goblins, wargs, and a bharghest, the party spreads out and employs teamwork. Abadon (who has been invisible for some time) decides to leave the party to these foes and scouts ahead.

You-Didnt-See-Anything-Madagascar.gif

Abadon uses acid to free the paladin, and after being released, Arianthana joins the fight with Abadon to stem the flow of goblin reinforcements, allowing the rest of the party to dispatch the initial wave. Between Korra’s stabbery and Bruno’s missles, the Bharghest is eventually felled. Pierro has some soul-searching time with a warg, and a crazy itching that distracts him for quite a bit of the fight, curtesy of a dragon. After getting better, he makes short work of the warg, who provides him with momentary relief from the crazy itching sensation. But its not over yet:

partysurrounded.jpg

After the initial waves of the goblin forces have been routed, the reinforcements threatened to overwhelm the party. With great luck, the kobolds return to help out, having found and rescued their baby red dragon mascot. The kobold warriors deal with the oncomming goblins, giving the party a moment to rest and re-orient themselves for the next encounter.

View
5 Minute Fight Scene
A giant werewolf wrestling a dragon, nuff said

korravolimar.jpg

Participants


Korra Lander
Bruno Trickfoot
Piero Malatesta
Abadon, the Mage
Asher Tradefolk
Agatha Cleric of Estanna

Backstory

After the party decided to challenge a dragon and slay it within the same day, they set about preparing for combat.

The Plan

Offer Agatha as a faux offering to the dragon. The party would web the dragon named Olimar and known as the Death Wind to the ground, then drop a boulder on its head while attacking.

Speech

“You don’t eat if you don’t slay the dragon.”
-Agatha
“A week ago we, were no one; tomorrow, we are legends!”
-Bruno
“Next week we’ll slay a god, I like to estimate conservatively.”
-Korra
“We’re going to f*** it till it’s raw.”
-Pierro

Damsels and Dragons

Agatha, Korra and Pierro marched towards the dragon’s lair with Agatha feigning as a damsel in distress. Bruno was invisible on his dog.

You’re amusing, leave the offering and I shall spare you
-Olimar

Olimar was not fooled by the feint and blew his poisonous breath on the group. Besides Agatha, the party was unfazed by the breath attack as the dragon leapt straight into Abadon’s webbing. The Dragon’s VeggiePygmy minions then scrambled to aid their fallen master. Their attacks however were feeble though all the orders being given were not understood by the group as they did not know what the clicking language signified.

knightschallenge.jpg

IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE? ON SECOND THOUGHT, I’LL JUST KILL YOU
-Korra

Asher cast enlarge on Pierro and Korra to make them of equal size with Olimar.

Piero began to wrestle and bite the dragon while pinning it to the ground. The dragon buffeted Piero with claw and bite attacks to little avail as Agatha was providing healing to Piero. Meridia hurled boulders and trees against the Dragon while Bruno accosted the rear of the dragon with a lance and his dog. With a crack of lightning, Abadon dealt the final blow. The dragon, uttered its last curse by poisoning Pierro and ordered a fire to be lit in the thicket by it’s veggiepygmy minions. The Veggiepygmies that the party encountered were readily dispatched.

olimarslain.jpg

Ballad of Olimar’s Charge



The Death Wind howls her disdain
The Heroes march unwavering
With dread does the death wind take flight
With sorcery, her strength deprived
One hero has howls of his own
Poison did the death wind blow
As mountain of rubble did astrew
Did lance and lightning strike the brute
Fires of war did rage
As steel began to flay
With final coil and cursed bain
So the death wind was slain
-Summer Court Folksong

«Previous

View
The Wild Hunt
Or, How That Escalated Quickly

shifters.jpg

Participants


Korra Lander
Bruno Trickfoot
Piero Malatesta
Abadon, the Mage
Asher Tradefolk
Agatha Cleric of Estanna

Background

After defeating the werewolves, the group sought to recover from the harrowing battle. The brewery of Trickfoot’s family collapsed partially. However, the thorpsfolk was persuaded to help in rebuilding it. On another note, a storm was on the horizon. Abadon used an augury to find out how bad the storm would be, which it turned out was only “sound and fury.”

And Now BEES!

After setting forth for the Sunless Citadel, the party stopped to camp for the night. Agatha was on watch in the early morning when she found herself assaulted by BEES!
thebees.gif

The bees themselves were the handiwork of three shapeshifters in an attempt to ambush the party. These shapeshifters were unusual in that though they appeared lycanthropic, they posessed parts from multiple DIFFERENT animals. Later the party determined that these were a true-breeding race known as Shifters. After a brief scuffle, the party captured one of the shifters and coerced her to reveal why the shifters attacked the group. The shifter’s name is Meridia.

The Great Wild Hunt

The captured shifter (Meridia) revealed to the group that she belonged to the fey court of a half-fey king named Oberon. She goes on to say that a Great Wild Hunt has been called on the party. Specifically, that every member of her tribe is obliged to chase for sport the party, and bring them as trophies back to the tribe and to the summer court of Oberron.

With this information at hand, the party decided that the best course of action is to confront Oberon at his own domain. No doubt dumbstruck at the brilliance of the plan, the captured shifter agreed to lead the party to the court’s location. (Actually Meridia was impressed by how you spared her and all of her friends when attacked you, as well by both the priest and noble woman apologizing for desecrating the Wild Grove of the Great Huntress).

The party made it back to the Shifter colony which consisted of stone monoliths and “lean-to”s. The tribe of shifters was surprised to see their quarry come all the way to the settlement and was ready to give battle. Oberron watched the entire encounter invisibly to see how these interlopers would respond. Though the shifters gave repeated insult the party neither fled nor fought, and thus Oberron decided that these interlopers were, PERHAPS, too worthy to be sacrifices for the Great Huntress. Oberron revealed himself after using Mass Tasha’s Hideous Laughter on his own tribe to stop them from killing the party. After doing so he introduced himself to the party and demanded that they give account of themselves and how they would make offerings to the Great Huntress.

After much debate it was decided that the party would slay a Green Dragon IN A DAY and bring it back to the Settlement as an offering to the Great Huntress in their sted.

«Previous
Next »

View
Wolf Attack on Dundenvale
Or, How Dundenvale Earned Its Badass Reputation

dogsandmanwithbow.jpg

Participants


Korra Lander
Bruno Trickfoot
Piero Malatesta
Abadon, the Mage
Asher Tradefolk
Shar
Agatha Cleric of Estanna

Story so far…

After defeating the Doppelganger, the thorp of Dundenvale was out in force in the forest.

Demon Hunt

The party turned back towards the thorp and located the Imp ontop of the Brewery thanks to the TEMPORARY gem of True Seeing. Piero attempted to climb a ladder with knife hands but only managed a spinning dance in the middle of town.

Zangief-lariat_1_.gif

Bruno fired an arrow and presumably slayed the demon whose body was not recovered. This has led the party to believe the Imp to be a summoned creature, whom was sent back to it’s native plane after it’s demise on the material plane.

The Nerd Herd

The next day, wolves began to attack the peasantry when Korra raised the alarm and told the villagers to run into her manor house for safety. With the peasantry unable to get into safety in time, the party sallied forth.
Wolf_Punch__FULL_VIEW_PLESE_by_XxFenrierxX.gif

Pierro helped the Stable Girls and a new town arrival named Glorietta into the safety of the stone temple. Abadon used said stone temple as his base of operations to observe and blast wolves.

During the early parts of the encounter, Abadon cast several boosting spells while Korra and Piero charged into combat. Bruno shot at the wolves from the roof of the brewerie as three wolves were attacking Agatha.

Lukas, Halia, and Gregor all assisted peasants into getting into the Manor house.

A werewolf bit and grappled Piero whom decided the best option would be to bite it back since he couldn’t use his over-sized sword in the grapple (or his Greatsword either!)

werewolf.jpg

A dire wolf grappled Piero from behind while Korra lanced it from behind with a total of 3 wolves skewered inclusive. Piero then proceeded to bite the dire wolf back as it had pulled him off of the werewolf he himself was already biting. During this encounter Lukas provided flanking and trip attempts whilst Halia tried to break a wolf with her face. Gregor used his heavy crossbow to harry the enemy.

At this point the werewolf beat a retreat, managing to escape a web spell, Faerie Fire, and a few more lancing attempts.

The dire wolf and Piero continued to exchange bites. Piero had an erection, an erection that raged with the white hot intensity of 1000 exploding suns, for the entire duration of the altercation.

Abadon fired electricity into the fray while Asher electrocuted the wolf grappling him.

«Previous
Next »

View
Nobody Expected the Peasant Inquisition
Or, How Doppelgangers are Bad for Morale

doppel.png

Participants


Korra Lander
Bruno Trickfoot
Piero Malatesta
Abadon, the Mage
Asher Tradefolk

Story so far…

With Dundenvale having been saved by the “heroes” of Greyskull, the thorp settled back into the daily rituals of not dying from dysentery. Things had become quiet until Molly of the Kroper family (the largest clan in town and inhabitants from before the town was even founded) ran into the tavern to beseech the town thu.. heroes to save her daughter Mela. Upon further discussions, it became apparent that Mela had been kidnapped by a band of goblins.

The Plan

March into the forest to confront the goblins and save the girl. Don’t set entire forest on fire.

Glitter is never the answer, Marriage is

Upon encountering a goblin encampment, the group brutalized the goblins while Abaddon knocked out the majority of them with a glitter bomb, while also disabling his party members. Concurrently, a pixie started to harass the party to which Bruno responded rationally with a marriage proposal. The pixie Namyria, princess of all fae of the forest and daugther of Queen Tatania, accepted because it appeared to amsue her. Upon opening the bag, it was the towns aging fighter Lukas who brought the group to the conclusion that the thorp had a doppelganger infestation.
mitch.jpg

We Need Your Pubes for Science

As the party returned to Dundenvale’s tavern, Piero questioned his uncle as to whether he was not a Doppelganger. (turns out he wasn’t) Molly demanded to know if the party had rescued her daughter to which Piero replied with a druken song about Laura the one eyed, one handed wench.
miguel-lute.gif

Molly became hysterical and rushed outside to find Bruno and his Fae fiance. Feeling very much not inclined to listen to her inane prattling, Bruno first tried to bring the woman to her senses unsuccessfully by slapping her. He then requested his fiance to use her gifts to calm her down. Using her magical fey charm, she distracted the woman from the situation regarding her daughter, but didn’t actually manage to make her any quieter. She continued to talk at great length about her new desire to live among the fey, which he found equally irritating. Bruno then told her to go to them, pointing in the general direction of the Fey village, finally solving his annoying townswoman problem, but inadvertently setting other events into motion.

Hearing Molly becoming ever more hysterical and running off to the woods to join the fae, the Kroper patriarch became contentious. Piero demanded hair from the balding patriarch, whom reached into his britches and pulled out some of his old grey pubic hairs. They Kroper clan left for the forest before it became known that the elder Kroper was the doppelganger. Meanwhile, Bruno, Abadon and the Tiefling went to the Kroper estate to find a few guards standing back to back.

They eventually found the real Elder Kroper, stuck in a barrel. Bruno went to appeal to the queen of the Fae, aka his angry future mother-in-law to lend him a Gem of True Sight. She acceded to his request by using her magic to create a temporary item that could see through a doppleganger’s illusion in exchange for an unnamed boon she would later demand.

Do You Believe That Love Can Bloom on the Battlefield?

Korra and Piero rode off into the woods to slay the pretender patriarch. After tracking down a lone man in the woods, the duo immediately sought to slay the shifter believing it to be the Doppelganger. The man transformed into a wolfen shape.Bruno rode in with the gem strapped to his face.

Quickly, he realized that the wolfen shape was actually a werewolf. The three rode off into the night, intent on slaying the doppelganger. Finding the doppelganger in the woods, a confluence of the party wrestled it to the ground. After yielding, the doppelganger explained that an imp had contacted it to distract the village. The party decided to slay the imposter and thus the town was saved? Though what the distraction was for and whom the imp served were not determined. The werewolf was also not pursued at this time.

What remains for the party is to rescue the girl from the goblins they didn’t kill, deal with an invisible/shapeshifting imp before the temporary gem of trueseeing becomes inert in 24 hours, and possibly handle a werewolf situation no one was aware of prior to the doppelganger incident.

«Previous
Next »

View
We're commoners, all we have are bad ideas
"...Our bad ideas are also poorly executed by definition."

ogre.jpg

Participants


Korra Lander the Aristocrat and Leader of the group
Bruno Trickfoot the Expert on traps and animals
Piero Malatesta the hot-headed Renaarian Warrior
Abadon, the Mage the indentured servant and Alchemical Sage
Asher Tradefolk the Outcast Adept

Story so far…

An ogre has been terrorizing the Thorp of Dundenvale, making demands of alcohol, cattle, and slaves. Unreasonable as these demands seem to be, the thorp and the ogre live in an uneasy compromise. However, one day, as with any bully, the ogre demanded more than the people of Dundenvale could stand. Taking the much-beloved triplets, whom everyone was acquainted with (some more than others), the town’s protectors resisted the ogre. These protectors, worn and old adventurers themselves, proved no match to the hulking brute. It then falls on the inheritors of the thorp (all in NPC classes) to slay the ogre, and bring back the triplets of the town from Skulltop Hillock so named for it’s obvious skull shape.

The Plan

Bruno Trickfoot is to sneak into the cave to blind the ogre. Ghost Sounds cast by (Trent) will lure the Ogre out of the skull-shaped hill, and the remaining team will pour burning oil on the ogre. The team will then attack the ogre with missile weapons until the ogre is vanquished.

No Accounting for Vultures

Upon arriving at Skull Hill, the group was met by a goblin who appears to be serving as a lookout. After subduing and intimidating the goblin, the group quickly went to their positions. As the oil team climbed the hill, Piero was attacked by a vulture, which had a nest in one of the eyes of Skull Hill. The resulting chaos drew a hostile wolf from the cave. However, before the wolf became a problem, Korra skewered the intruding beast with a lance charge. Once the vulture has been dealt with, the warrior saw the ogre through the eye socket of the hill.

The Capricious Nature of Plans

Having decided that it was the best course of action, Piero leapt down from his thirty-feet vantage point, and landed dagger-first onto the ogre’s back. The Renaarian warrior slashed at the ogre repeatedly before being caught between the creature’s meaty hands, and flung across the cave room which downed him quickly. The ogre strode furiously towards the fallen warrior. Then, as if like in the stories, Korra the Aristocrat, in her resplendent armor, Joined the fray. Having navigated the cave, with lance at the ready, she charged the ogre, and landed a solid hit. However, while impaled with the lance, the ogre grabbed her and brutally threw her to the ground knocking the wind out of her. Things looked grim for the two fighters. Fortunately, the rest of the group decided to stick to the plan. Lured by the ghostly voices and the fact that his enemies were already limp at his feet, the ogre ran for the entrance only to be set on fire by Abadon. Two of the specialists dogs were injured from biting the flaming ogre as it ran towards the entrance. Finally, the adept poured the oil on the ogre, and the resulting conflagration slayed it.

In the chaos no one noticed the goblins sneaking away to where the party can only guess.

Dungeons and Damsels

The adventurers then found a secret cave entrance and marched down the staircase stoically. After slaying several beetles with fire, and setting a mushroom forest on fire, the team found the tomb of a warlord. Opening the tomb, the ghoulified warlord attacked the party only to be ripped asunder by a critical glaive attack by Korra. Marching further down through the tunnels, the group found a wizard’s study containing several minor golems (animated household objects) to attack them. The triplets were found imprisoned and were hysterically crying for rescue as they believed they would be sacrificed to the hideous toad-faced demon altar of the evil wizard. They also learned that a dwarf had been assisting the wizard, perhaps under magical compulsion.

I’ll Beat a Motherfucker with Another Mother Fucker

beat.jpg
Having interrupted an infernal ritual, the party viciously attacked the wizard that was attempting to sacrifice one of the townsfolk. A snake and spider leapt at the warrior while Korra battled a fire elemental. The dwarf took an arrow to the knee and immediately fell to the floor. The wizard used the party’s tactic against them by setting the group on fire. The alchemist responded to the wizard threat by setting the wizard on fire. The leaping spider was slain as it leapt towards Korra, and the warrior managed to get a firm grasp on the snake. The adept became beguiled by the wizard to create water and put out the fire creeping across his body.

The warrior walked up to the wizard, clearly having enough of this shit, and strangled him with the snake, throttling him senseless. The warrior then hurled the body down the demon frog altar, after which a voice heard only by Piero stated these ominous words: “The pact has been made, the power is yours”.

Thus, in a single day, the enterprising group (of upjumped NPCs) saved the town (?)

Rewards were granted to members of the group by the thankful township. The triplets returned to their work at the Inn and remain ESPECIALLY thankful to their mighty rescuers.

Asher Tradefolk requested a boon in helping find the family that abandoned him.

Abadon requested the repayment of his indentured servitude.

Next »

View

I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.